If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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