giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
