Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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