Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
