I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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