He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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