i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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