Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
