I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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