next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
