if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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