she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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