I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
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he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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