Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
