so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
