I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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