is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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