My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
This gyro tastes like lonliness
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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