are you still at the devil's house?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
