You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
