Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Randomize
