that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
