Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
