I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize