PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
