i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
