Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
