You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
did i just pee glitter
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