this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
