Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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