My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
