Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
