I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
