I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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