i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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