Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
