so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
