I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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