READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
