She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
