drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize