so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just forgot I was standing up.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize