So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
