As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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