After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
