Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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