I'm laying in your front yard are you home
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
