Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
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no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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