Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize