When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
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the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
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At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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