She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
