I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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