Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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