the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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