It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
