why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
