Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
