we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
