i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
