If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
