I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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