"it" just moved
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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